This is the eastern side of the marriage-happening place.

I realize that cause and effect are random and meaningless, but I just can't help but feel miffed that the world lost this terrific man, when so many worthless ones get to go on living. He was the father of a friend of mine from high school.



On Sunday June 21, 2009 James (Jim) Anton DeBortoli passed from this world into a fuller life with Jesus Christ our Lord. Jim was a devoted husband, father and brother. He is survived by his beloved wife, Patricia (Patty) Simpkins DeBortoli, and his treasured children: James (Jim) William DeBortoli, John Anthony DeBortoli and his wife Heather, Joseph (Jed) Edward DeBortoli, Laura Jean DeBortoli, and Kathryn (Katie) Ellen Simpkins DeBortoli. He was a devoted grandfather to his three beautiful granddaughters: Sophia Grace, Isabella Vittoria, and Lilianna Noelle. He is survived by his sister Josephine Marick and her husband Nick and many cousins. In addition to his beloved family, Jim is survived by scores of friends, including his co-workers at the Country Club Rite Aid Pharmacy, where he served members of his neighborhood for over thirty years. The funeral mass will be Thursday, June 25th at 10 a.m. at St. Peter's Catholic Church at 235 Adams. Visitation will be at Leak Memory on Wednesday from 5 p.m. until 7 p.m. , followed by a Rosary. Pallbearers include best friend Charlie Colvin, Bob Weir, West Marcus, Tony Egbuna, Jack Park and Mahdi Al Hallaq. Honorary pallbearers are: George Poulas, Guin A. Nance, and Daphne Simpkins. In lieu of flowers, please make honorary donations to the Alabama Kidney Foundation or the Montgomery chapter of the American Diabetes Foundation. Leak-Memory Chapel Directing

So, I was all excited about being able to sleep in today and get some rest, but staying up until 1:30 AM (because we had a friend over until after midnight and then I stayed up to watch an episode of "Intervention") then getting woken up at 7:00 to move the car = getting less sleep than on the days I wake up at 5:00. I tried going back to sleep but I'm not really good at that. I feel groggy.

The episode of intervention annoyed the crap out of me. It was about a guy who was addicted to heroin. He was born in India, and abandoned on the streets of Calcutta when he was very little, and adopted by this Christian white family in the United States when he was three. They showed this home video of the parents going to pick him up and they were all "God told us we would be receiving a little boy from India in about 5 years and now we're going to get him!". In addition to their adopted son they also had five, perfect blonde biological children. And they made a naive mistake that I've seen happen with other families with adoption and particularly international adoption. They just assumed that if you rescue this child from the streets, and give them everything they need, they'll grow up to be happy and well adjusted and grateful. Also, they'll love Jesus since Jesus told the parents to adopt from India. You could tell from the blank looks on their faces during the interviews that they had absolutely no concept of their son/brother experiencing a lot of emotional pain over being abandoned by his birth family, of never knowing who his parents or siblings are. They had no concept of what it felt like to be the only brown face in a family of white faces.
The overwhelming feeling was that, "We gave him everything he needed and we loved him for who he is so what on earth is wrong with him?". The dad was the worst. He refused to see his problems as an illness and just thought he was being sinful and had no respect for authority.
And it's not that the guy hated his family. He loved them very much but undertandably felt distanced from them because of the "But we gave you Jesus and TV!" attitude. My heart just broke for that guy. It just amazed me that in all those years, it never occurred to that family to seek outside professional help (not the church) or pick up a book on adopted children and try to learn something about identity and abandonment issues.

Anyway...end rant about The Television and People I Do Not Know.

My birthday present: Seeing two bums/methheads fight over a bag of trash.

Yes, I'm evil.

There was a blog post on the New York Times, featuring a 22-year old woman who is unexpectedly pregnant and recently admitted to a prestigious and extremely demanding graduate program that only offers classes once every two years. The program does not allow deferrals or absentees. The program would entail 20 hours of classes a week, along with 20 hours of studying, paper-writing, and field research. She has no nearby support of family and is in a new town with no close friends. The father is emotionally supportive, but cannot financially support. She makes "too much" money to qualify to social services, grants, or scholarships, but not enough to buy infant supplies. And let's not get into "Well she shouldn't have gotten pregnant, then!", because it's stupid and pointless to say you shouldn't have done something after the fact.

So, they introduced the situation. And the comments were very warm, supportive, and thoughtful. Surprising for the NY times, whose cranky, I-know-better-than-you commenters are never in short supply.

Today they updated to let the woman inform everyone of her decision. She had decided to terminate the pregnancy.

And those warm supportive comments turned into nasty, judgmental stone-throwing about how she was the most selfish person alive.
Someone even said she would be better off keeping the child and working at Wal-Mart the rest of her life.
There was a lot of "so many couples would give anything to raise that child". Not that I don't have any sympathy for infertile couples, but I do not believe it is the responsibility of anyone to provide babies for people who cannot have them. If you choose adoption, great, but don't go around telling everyone that others should do the same.

Anyway. Was just kinda perturbed how those people who were helpful and kind a couple days ago morphed into these ugly name-calling, holier-than-thou idealists. Hope I never have to be at their mercy.

At last, The Time Traveler's Wife will be released August 14!!!! It looks positively craptastic.

The Three Day Fatigue seems to have passed. I was able to get up at 6:30 to go for my walk no problem (yesterday I was so exhausted I couldn't even put on my shoes). I thought I had something else to say but it's time to go to class anyway.

I also got to play with this cutie yesterday. My sister got an Australian Shepherd puppy in April. She's as soft and cuddly as a stuffed animal.

Yay puppies!!

A deposit has been put down and the date and location is officially official! June 12, 2010 at the San Francisco Theological Seminary in San Anselmo.
My stepmom and my niece Shea were visiting San Francisco this past week and yesterday we went for a tasting with the caterer for the wedding. It went swimmingly. The food was delicious and the caterer is very familiar with the workings of weddings at the seminary and knew about everything we could possibly think of. After that I remembered that I'd spoken to a florist over the phone a month ago that was located in San Anselmo and wanted to check her out. That also went really well. The florist was full of really great ideas and only uses seasonal and local plants. She gave me a complementary bouquet of white lilies, japanese maple branches, and some little green flowers I can't recall the name of. It's beautiful but I think I may be allergic to the lilies. Oh well.

So things are falling into place and I'm happy about that.

I had my first day of CNA training. Six hours of class is very long! Luckily after this week we only have lecture one day a week. And speaking of which, I have homework to do. Adios!

Quote from a new york times article: "I’ve always admired my friends who are wide readers. A few even pride themselves on never reading a book a second time."

I didn't realize that not re-reading books is something to be proud of. New York Timers will go to the most ridiculous lengths to sound worldly and intellectual. "Well I've never watched TV AND I've never re-read a book!"

In the past, I've always hated carrot cake. And then for some strange reason this afternoon I got this craving for carrot cake (??).

So, I made one!

This recipe is definitely a keeper.
Cake:
1.5 cups whole wheat flour
2 teasp. baking soda
2 teasp. baking powder
2 teasp. cinnamon
2 teasp. nutmeg
1/2 teasp. cloves
1/2 teasp. salt
1 teasp. vanilla
1 cup vanilla soymilk
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
2 cups grated carrots

Bake 350 for 30-35 minutes depending on how your oven bakes. It's really important this not over-bake and dry out. If anything, it would be better to slightly underbake.

Frosting:
1 8-ounce package of fat free cream cheese
3 tablesp. honey
2 tablesp. butter or margarine (I use Earth Balance non-hydrogenated margarine)
1/4 cup chopped walnuts
Blend till blended then frost that beast!

The other day I was reading some genealogy records my grandma sent me a few years ago. It turns out that her maiden name, Husser, used to be Hausser. (I'm assuming that's pronounced House-er?). During the French Revolution, the spelling was changed to Husser so that it wouldn't sound so German. So I thought that was kinda interesting.
I told Neko about this, and then today, I said, "I wonder if I'm related to Doogie Houser. Distantly of course." He asked me why I thought this and I reminded him of the Husser used to be Hausser thing.
Neko: "That guy's name is Neil Patrick Harris"
And for a second, I'm almost like, "Right. Neil Patrick..." Wait.

Embarrassing moment ensues. I can't believe I forgot Doogie Houser wasn't a real person!!

Just so you know, I'm officially blaming all of this on finals-brain and all of the crystal light I consume.

tristan_crane: Is walking from the Powell Street BART (going across Geary and up Van Ness) a doable walk as far you're concerned, or is it hellaciously hilly?

In the hot hot summer I especially enjoy these "cold dinners" of fresh seasonal vegetables. Tomatoes, corn, butter beans, and asparagus with yogurt-mustard-garlic sauce.

Today Neko and I had lunch with a good friend we haven't seen since last year, since she's at grad school at Columbia in NYC. Since she's in San Jose, we agreed to meet half way in Dublin. While the Dublin/Pleasanton area seems to be home to every. single. chain restaurant in existence, I did manage to scope out a promising sounding Afghani restaurant I found on yelp. It got good reviews, and we'd never had Afghani food before, so Royal Afghan it was. Overall it was a very pleasant experience. It was a bit like Indian food but the flavors are milder and "cleaner", if that makes any sense. I had cauliflower in tomato broth and sauteed pumpkin slices in olive oil and yogurt. The restaurant was very pretty and the service was impeccable. So if you ever happen to find yourself in the area, I'd recommend this place.

I have two more finals to go. For my chem final, the professor has a tradition of having a pot-luck lunch while he grades your final exam so you'll know what grade you got for the semester (or at least a very good idea). I'm bringing some vegetarian lumpia from Best Lumpia. (and they do make the best!)

I'm looking forward to this month wrapping up and the new things in my life happening. My stepmom is coming to town at the end of May and we're going to do a tasting with the caterer for the wedding. And on June 2nd I start my CNA training! Eee! I hope I look good in scrubs and a stethoscope :)

I had another wedding nightmare last night. I've had a few of these dreams...usually they involve us getting married someplace we hadn't picked out and at the last minute.Me not having a dress. Usual anxiety dream scenarios. I once had a dream we got married in a modern mega-church (ewwww) and I've had a couple dreams about getting married at my parents' house at the last minute. This was one of those. I kept wondering why we weren't using the beautiful location picked out in California. In the ceremony we didn't exchange vows or rings (which didn't matter, as we didn't have any wedding bands to begin with). And then my engagement ring got a huge chip in it. At the reception, the meal served was a plate of 2 steaks and a pork chop. Neko ate the pork chop and then threw up.

I don't expect any of these weird things to happen at the real wedding, my brain just likes to torture me in my sleep.

This is what all the crashing and cursing over here lately has been about. We now have light again in the kitchen and I can stop pretending I know what I'm looking at when cooking at night. Ignore the gaping hole with the wires hanging out. Something will be done about that, I reckon.

Ok, so I believe this qualifies me for the Biggest Dork Ever Award, but a comment I left in a New York Times article got the "Editor's Selection". And I practically squealed when I saw it. I know, I know, BFD.

A few minutes later when I was still staring at the screen, Neko turned to me and said, "Basking in your glory?"

My comment wasn't even particularly insightful or poetic, but whatever. If it makes the editor happy, right?

I'M PUBLISHED.

I was looking up the nutrition information on some baskin robbins ice cream, and I was pleased to learn that their ice cream has no crustaceans. I hate it when I get a big crawfish shell right in my sundae.

This could just be a coincidence, but at the first wedding venue I checked out, I told them that I wasn't really planning on looking anywhere else (because at the time I thought that was the truth) and their quote was firm with no incentives, and at the second place I talked to over the phone, I told them I was just looking and I got told "I know the economy is bad and I don't know what other places are offering but we're knocking 10% off our usual rates".

Moral of the story: Always mention you're looking. Can't hurt in any case.